“This is the letter that I should have written to my father, but it’s too late for that now. So I’m writing it to you instead. I was raised to be tough, to not take anything from anyone. It’s a lonely way to walk through this world. I spent my whole life trying to please you. All it did was make me hate you. Hate myself. And when I finally found someone who loved me, who I thought I could love back, it made me hurt them. Hurt them so they can never be unhurt. I tore that love apart and myself apart with it. I have wanted to die because I could not be who I wanted to be, because I could not be who you wanted me to be, but I couldn’t die anymore than I could live. I’m tired of being here in this place that feels like nowhere. I’m tired of caring what people think about me. I’m tired of being afraid. I’ve met someone that makes me want to breathe in this world again and I would not hold my breath a second longer. None of these lies I told made me stronger. None of the secrets I kept made me happier. So I’m gonna try something else now. I’m gonna try telling the truth. My Truth. My name is Sean Dougan, AKA Kaldrick King, AKA The King of California. I’m gay.”<3
(Source: koriandr)
